What is this?
The greatest sphere’ing of your lifetime. We’re going to set a world record for the most zorbs in a river at a single time.
Thanks to some unorthodox investment strategies we actually turned a profit last year. We’re going to celebrate by setting a world record… won’t you join us?
We’ve secured 85 spheric floatation devices, aka “zorbs,” and we’re going to race them down the Chicago River. The first 85 zorbers to sign up will have their names printed into the Guinness Book of World Records under “Largest Zorb Flotilla.”
The Great Chicago River Zorb Roll: A World Record Extravaganza
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, thrill-seekers and water-walkers, prepare to embark on the most daring, most exhilarating, and most gloriously whimsical event in the history of mankind: The Great Chicago River Zorb Roll. This groundbreaking event invites you to join us as we attempt to set a new world record for the largest number of people simultaneously floating down the iconic Chicago River in Zorb balls. Be a part of this extraordinary experience that combines the spirit of adventure with a healthy dose of unpredictability.
Race Schedule
The Great Chicago River Zorb Roll will commence at precisely 9:42 AM, with check-in and Zorb ball assignment beginning at 8:00 AM. Keenan Thompson will be MC’in the kickoff!
The entire event will take approximately 3 hours, with a mid-roll break for a mandatory group selfie and spontaneous dance party. The event will conclude with a record verification ceremony and a celebration of our collective achievement.
Don’t miss your chance to be a part of this historic, groundbreaking, and downright astonishing event. Space is limited, so sign up today and secure your spot in the Grand Chicago River Zorb Roll. Together, we will redefine the meaning of “going with the flow” and make a splash that will echo through the annals of time. Register now, and prepare to embark on an adventure so remarkable, so fantastical, and so utterly unbelievable that future generations will no doubt question its very existence.
